Decade in Review

I got this idea from a favourite blogger of mine. It was great for making me look back and take stock at just how much I have achieved in 10 years and how far I have come.

2000 - Separated from the man I married at the age of 22, that I had been with from the age of 17. I was almost 30 years of age and had changed into a completely different person to the girl I was in 1992. Started a relationship with the love of my life :)
2001 - Turned 30. Bought a unit "alone" and lived alone for the first time in my whole life. Was a huge learning curve but it made me the woman I am today.
2002 - Rob moved in and we started our life together.
2003 - Concentrated on life love and work.
2004 - Rob and I bought a block of land together. Started our TTC (trying to concieve) journey.
2005 - Started building our "dream house with a budget", started ART (artificial reproductive therapy), completed study and attained formal qualifications as a Teacher-Librarian, sold the unit and moved into house. Lost my much loved grandfather. Everybody I know is pregnant!! A tough year emotionally.
2006 - First and last IVF cycle - we concieved Bridget! Rollercoaster!
2007 - Gave birth to Bridget in February. Huge change in our life! Developed really great friendships via Mother's Group.
2008 - Lost a baby early this year. Was the beginning of a mentally challenging time for me. A lot of mixed emotions about it ranging from not wanting a baby at that time and feeling guilt about the relief I felt when I had tried so hard to have Bridget in the first place and how could my body betray me yet also provide me with a gift!!!!!!????? Concieved Elke in October.
2009 - Elke born in July. Feel like my life is filled with everything I want/ need.

How is that for a decade????
My hopes for the next decade. Well I turn 40 next January so my current aim is to look as fabulous as I possibly can for the partay!!! After that, what everybody else hopes for - health and happiness!! So I will be doing things to stay healthy and happy :) Family and friends and time for me.

How was your decade? Have a look back and see just how far you have come!

Is it 2010 already???

Hello everyone - sorry it has been a while. Xmas preparations and time away has meant a very busy time for us!

We had a lovely Christmas but it is all a bit of a blur now. We did two Christmas dinners the weekend before Christmas - if that makes sense. The first one was for my dad, step-mum Robyn and Aunty Lyn. The second was for Rob's parents and sister Emma. I'm a bit over cooking roast lunches now and am ready to consider the seafood lunch for next Christmas LOL!

We then had Xmas drinks for friends on the Tuesday which was a load of fun. We got to give the new backyard a workout with kids playing and adults lounging in chairs in the outdoor area.

We then headed down to mum's at The Rock on Christmas Eve. Phew. Sounds busy, was busy but, I like busy.

Here are a few photos from the first two family gatherings.

Bridget on her new bike!

Bridget helping me open a present.

Elke in the festive spirit!

Elke not sure what all the fuss is about.

Bridget gave her dummies to Santa! That was all going beautifully until sometime on Christmas morning when she ran into the hot iron at mum's. It got her on her top lip and would have been really painful. She was awfully brave and didn't cry. We had her hold an icy cold wet washer to it for most of the day. It came up in a yucky scab overnight and it was lucky we were able to access medical advice at a chemist on Boxing Day. It's amazing how fast kids heal. All there is now is a pale pink mark which I am putting Bio Oil onto as much as possible.

Anyway, back to the dummies. A combination of the burn, not having a dummy to self-settle for day sleeps and thus being very tired, and lots of new people to get to know as they popped in and out of mum and Doug's place meant that she was an anxious, whiney, clingy mess for 95% of the time we were away. It was hard work for Rob and I. At one point on Boxing Day night we were ready to pack the car and come home, but we ploughed on. Mum loved having both girls with her for a whole week though and it was lovely to see her enjoying them.

Below are some photos taken from our time in Wagga (The Rock).

Bridget and her new sunglasses!

Elke's book from Santa!

The present Santa left for Bridget in exchange for her dummies.

Note the empty plate and glass on the coffee table - Bridget was very excited

to see that Santa enjoyed the cake and milk!!

Bridget in the festive spirit.

The two girls at Wagga Indoor Aquatic Centre!
Note poor Bridgie's lip - the swimming did it wonders though.

Happy New Year everyone!

It's beginning to look a lot like.... ?

Well it's been a while since the last blog update. Lots has been happening, but not a lot if you know what I mean.

Rob is on holidays now till late January and has been in full throttle backyard blitz mode. He is almost finished - just a bit more river stone and some more garden blocks and we are done.

First job off the rank though was one I had been wanting for a good 12 months. The al fresco area. We got Bridget on the job to seal the concrete, earning her board and keep.

I'm kidding - she was just "helping" dad. Rob then painted it a dark charcoal. Looks sooooo much better! We plan to put a couple of 3 seater garden seats in there and some pot plants. I am looking forward to getting back out there at night once the kids are in bed, enjoying a glass of wine and a chat.

Rob has shovelled and barrowed about 10m cubed of mulch, granite base and river stone from the front yard into the back yard. We are drought proofing our yard and I think it looks pretty good! I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel with our backyard - after 4 years of weeds and dirt! Once summer is over we will start the long process of planting it out.

Having trouble finding a good tree that will not grow too big, has great autumn leaves and good shade for summer. I really love the Manchurian pear - but it can get pretty big I think - unless we are good about pruning it. We will have to pay a visit to a few specialist nurseries.

Bridget is doing great. I honestly cannot believe how fast she is growing up. It's exciting but also sad. It's becoming a whole new world both for her, and us, her parents. She will transition into the older room in daycare in the middle of next year. Just listening to the carers/ teachers talk about literacy and numeracy during the orientation blew my mind. It's usually me standiung in front of parents talking about curriculum, yet here I was on the other side of it. Weird. My girl can't be that old!! Yet she is. We also have an interview for enrolment into pre-prep in 2011!! It's getting serious people!!!

This is a photo of Bridget dressed up for her first birthday party outside of her MG friends. Her special little friend turned 3 and had a Fairy party.

Sorry about the weird grin. She has a funny way of grimacing when I ask her to smile for the camera. But, I'm not whinging - 6 months ago I was flat out getting her to look at the camera let alone pull a face for it.

Here she is helping me make gingerbread cookies.

Elke is doing wonderfully. She is such a happy little girl. I just want to eat her up. She smiles and giggles and gives me cuddles - it just makes my heart melt. I hope she stays this way once I return to work. She is rolling over and I cannot wait till she works out how to return from her tummy onto her back LOL. Mums reading this will know what I mean. She is also having to odd day of the grizzles because her teeth are moving around in her gums. Her cheeks get red and hot. I must confess to giving in and dosing her with baby panadol or nurofen.

Here she is all dressed up ready to go to the daycare Xmas party last night.

And, here she is sitting in a"beebo" type seat that a lovely friend lent us. She think she is just IT when she is sitting up at the table with us.

Christmas is going to be flat chat for us all - especially me. I have been out every night this week so far and at this stage won't have a night at home till Friday. Then Saturday and Sunday we are hosting Christmas dinners for various "sides" of the family. Monday is free - no doubt spent cleaning as we are hosting Xmas drinks here on Tuesday afternoon (really looking forward to this one). Wednesday spent cleaning and packing ready to head off to Wagga on Xmas Eve.

I am really looking forward to getting down there and having a few quiet days at mum's. She hasn't seen Elke since she was about 5 weeks old. I wish she didn't live so far away.

Merry Christmas everyone! :)

Just some recent shots of my gorgeous girls. All things are going well. Feeling a bit sad about having to go back to work soon. Hopefully I will win Lotto soon and not have to! :p

Elke is almost rolling - she is 4 months 2 weeks old. Bridget is doing great and is very excited about receiving her first birthday party invitation outside of her Mothers Group friendship circle - a little friend of her's in daycare is having a fairy party for her 3rd birthday! How fun! Better get the wings out and track down the wand...or better still it's a good excuse to buy a new pair! :)

Have a good week everyone!

Some inspiration...something old!

This evening I became a member of Blog This. I was after some inspiration and thought it would be fun. The challenge this week is something old. I'm coming a bit late into this challenge but many things in my house spring to mind when I think of "old". I have some lovely old pieces passed down from my grandparents; one of Grandma's old pinnies, a pair of her gloves, a hand embroidered table cloth, pieces of china, a wartime letter sent to my grandmother by my grandfather when they were courting, war medals etc. All of these things have significant meaning to me.

But, no I wanted to find something reaaaaaallllly old :p And, beautiful. Please excuse the shocking picture quality. I covet an SLR. My little digital just doesn't cut it with macro shots.

So here it is!



This fossil of a marine creature has been cut in half to reveal the amazing inside pattern and crystallisation. Rob actually owns it and it is displayed on one of our many bookcases. Surprisingly, Bridget has not fiddled with it (ie; broken it!) and it has survived almost three years in a toddler's house! Well, you would think so wouldn't you - having survived for millenia.

What is it? No idea!
Is it rare? No
Is it old? Most definitely.

It's November already....?

We received some sad news late last week. My grandfather - Pop - passed away after being unwell and uncomfortable for a long time. He was 3 weeks away from his 91st birthday!!!! That means both my grandfathers lived to be 90! I doubt if I will live that long. I spent pretty much all of my school holidays on my grandparents' farm from the age of 6 till about 14. I have fond memories of waking up in the morning to the sound of Pop jogging the trotting horses around the track in the home paddock. I would lie in the big double bed in the *outside room* - the room off the front verandah - listening to the jog-jog-jog sound approach then fade, approach then fade. I also have fond memories of Pop sitting in *his* chair in the loungeroom, with Uncle Edgar in his chair on the other side of the couch. Old, worn brimmed hats and king gee work pants, morning tea, afternoon tea and supper and the shearing shed. Rest in peace, Norman Alexander.

The girls are going great - growing up too fast though. I think they are going to get up to a lot of mischief together before long.

This photo is one of the only recent ones I have of Bridget standing by herself smiling *for* the camera. I got her dressed and did her hair all ready for the day at Nana and Pop's and told her she looked very pretty. I asked if I could take her photo and she said Yes!! I took full opportunity but still took a lot of the back of her head when she decided to get coy.

Bridget likes to give Elke a cuddle and lke generally likes Bridget giving her one. Elke's head looks huge in these two photos but I am sure it is just foreshortening from the angle I was taking them. Poor little chicken looks huge!

I love the one of Bridget laughing! :)

In the red and running on empty!

The title of this post says it all really.

I am feeling very flat and empty at the moment. Nothing serious, I will get over it. Chin up and soldier on and all that. See that is the problem with me. I am an action person. I see a problem and I solve it. I deal with things and I cope.

I am also a great friend. I listen and I listen and I give support and advice and I laugh with them and cry for them, I worry about them and I spend a lot of time thinking about how I can help them with their problems in order to get them happy again.

I do this also with my partner and with my kids.

When I am at work I do this for the staff and for the kids I teach.

It's crazy!!

I am pretty much in deficit emotionally at the moment. Too many withdrawals and not enough deposits. I'm feeling really jaded about doing all of the above and getting stuff all in return from some of them. A lot of the problem is my own fault. I very rarely ever show my underbelly. I don't often ask for help. I am fiercely independent and stubborn but also resourceful in a good way. I solve my own problems. So, friends wouldn't in fact know that I needed support unless I straight out said, for example "I am a bit sad about xyz".

I did this the other day and got something else entirely in return. Normally I would switch modes and say "Oh really tell me all about that" and listen and support and blah blah blah, but this time I bit down on it. Hard. I was so pissed off. Once I got over that I was left feeling very flat and empty. Who supports me??? When's my turn to sit and have a whinge and have someone listen and solve my problems for me??

Pffft! See. Here's the thing. I can't stand doing that. This whole post is not something that I like to do and I will wish that I didn't do it and try to delete it tomorrow.

But, there is a side of me that is starting to rebel and say "No, hold on a minute! Stuff it! You have a whinge and a cry! Bugger what anyone else thinks!"

So I will leave it there and see what happens. Feel better already.